You know what’s funny? I’ve always been the kind of gal who’s emotional, sentimental and romantic. I keep things that remind me of good memories. I appreciate a good poem, a tear-jerker chick flick, and a half gallon of Rocky Road as much as the next gal! But to me Valentines Day has always seemed like a made up holiday, specifically made to stimulate “card sales” and as a kick in the pants for the flower economy. “What does all this have to do with infidelity?” you ask? Well…a lot! I was looking at Valentines Day like I think most folks in western society look at love: like it should just naturally be gushy and romantic, with roses, lace and barbie-doll sunsets! But in real life, “love” doesn’t just happen effortlessly. In real life, love is a VERB and it is a decision…a very deliberate choice to act lovingly toward someone, especially the one to whom you’ve made a vow to “forsake all others.”
That’s where the Fourteen Days of Love Challenge comes in. As I mentioned, Love is a VERB and that means it’s active. For the first fourteen days of February, we have one loving activity each day on our Affaircare Romance Calendar….so that means today is Day Six already!! For the first fourteen days of February, I challenge you to stop looking at what your spouse IS or IS NOT doing, and instead look at yourself. What loving actions have YOU taken? And for these 14 days, rather than doing nothing or wishing your spouse would be romantic or loving…YOU be loving! When your spouse is not exactly wanting to be with you or not treating you in a loving way, the temptation is to say, “Fine then I won’t be nice back!” No. For the next week, leading up to the final day on Valentines Day, make the decision to be the kind of person who honors their promises and acts based on commitment rather than as a reward or punishment. Be a loving person because that is WHO YOU ARE…not because some does or doesn’t do something to you.
Finally, some of the ideas on the Romance Calendar are geared for couples who are together, but as an example, if you look at Wednesdays and realize that you let TVs and computers and laundry turn your bedroom into a Family Room rather than a sexy haven…now’s the time to love by changing that! Get some new pillows in rich, royal satin. Move the PCs out and the incense in. Get a new nighty and still be the loving, sexy person you are! The idea of the calendar is to give you an idea…whet your whistle…and let your creative juices flow to suite your particular situation. And don’t forget, your spouse is not the only person whom you can love during this 14 Days of Love Challenge:
Love Yourself–give yourself that loving gesture you need. Take time, get to know yourself, and love who you are…and if you don’t love who you are at the moment, become the person you were meant to be.
Love Someone who needs it–do you have an aunt who’s all alone? How about a old dog who’s been faithful all these years? A best friend you haven’t talked to? Love THEM by doing one thoughtful thing for them.
Love Something–love gardening, crocheting, working on your car, dog shows…whatever! Do some activity that YOU used to just love and haven’t done for a long time.
Love a Stranger–this is especially true when it feels like your world is falling apart and you feel despair. Go help out at a nursing home. Feed homeless people. Volunteer to read to blind children. Suddenly you’ll realize that your life isn’t so bad after all and they will LOVE you for it.
So I’m laying down the challenge. Who’s joining in?
- If Love Is In The Air… (theromanticvineyard.wordpress.com)
- Frugal Love: 9 Low-Cost Valentine’s Day Ideas (bargaineering.com)
- Hint! Hint! Valentine’s Day is for Geeky Women, too (blogher.com)