It may begin innocently as a friendship. It may also be called an affair of the heart. But an emotional affair can be defined as:
“A relationship between a person and someone other than (their) spouse (or lover) that has an impact on the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the marriage. The role of an affair is to create emotional distance in the marriage.”
How can you tell when it’s crossed the line from friendship into infidelity? Here are ten easy questions to help you decide:
1. Do you hide your not-so-good side from your “friend” or do they see you stressed, grouchy, silly, frumpy and sick?
2. Do you daydream and fantasize about your “friend” a lot?
3. Do you hope you might catch your “friend” if your out socially, or do you keep wanting to see your “friend” when you’re with your partner?
4. Does your partner support your friendship with your “friend”?
5. Does your partner know about your “friend” and know when you are actually catching up with your “friend”?
6. Are there more things that your partner intimately knows about you that your “friend” doesn’t know of?
7. Do you share details of your relationship–especially its troubles–with your “friend”?
8. Would you effortlessly set your “friend” up with one of your other friends?
9. Do you smile when you think about your “friend” getting married…to someone else?
10. You love your “friend” and you can do anything for them, but one thing you cannot do.. you cannot imagine having sex with them! At the very least, if you close your eyes and imagine having sex with your “friend”…you don’t get turned on–you laugh!
If you’re still confused, Dr. Shirley Glass developed a little quiz to help you determine if it’s really just platonic of if it has become an emotional affair. Click here to take the Slippery Slope Quiz
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