Monthly Archives: April 2013

Save Our Marriage Saturday — April 27th

Today is Save Our Marriage Saturday!

We have a tradition here at Affaircare. We call it “Save Our Marriage Saturday”–and we’re sharing the love. Link-love that is! Every Saturday we hold a link-up party so you can share a post of your own and we can all help each other to save our marriages!

Please share your post on any and all things related to saving your marriage after an affair, reconciling after you committed adultery, recovering your marriage after finding out that your spouse cheated, or keeping your marriage affair-free!

1. Please link to your actual “Save Our Marriage Saturday” post, not just the address to your blog or site home page.

2. Please leave me a comment–I would love to visit your site, return the favor, and follow you!

3. Please share the love with your fellow bloggers–Read and leave a comment on at least the two blogs above yours.

4. Please help me spread the word. Let’s create a community of Christian believers who want to bring glory to God by teaching our brothers and sisters about how to have a godly marriage, how to avoid the typical traps that lead to infidelity, and how to be a living testimony of forgiveness and reconciliation if one spouse is unfaithful.

5. Link back to this community, either by using the button below or a text link. You can find the button code here for you to insert in your post:

HTML CODE:

Please click on the froggy to see the blog hop!

I LINK TO THESE GODLY LINK-UPS:
Beholding Glory’s Blog Hop List, No Ordinary Blog Hop: Family-Parenting-Marriage , The Alabaster Jar-Marital Oneness Mondays, Revive Your Marriage Mondays, Time-Warp Wife-Titus 2sdays, …to Love, Honor and Vacuum–Wifey Wednesdays, Unveiled Wife, Grace Alone/Women Taking a Stand–Thankful Thursdays, and Beholding Glory–Faith Filled Fridays.

Save Our Marriage Saturday – April 6th (affaircare.com)

You are More Beautiful Than You Think

April 16, 2013AffaircareBeauty, WomenCindy at Affaircare

This video may show you how beautiful you are:

If you can not see or watch the video, here is the link to Youtube: You are More Beautiful Than You Think

Question of the Week: April 14th – 20th

April 14, 2013Affaircare, Our Question to YouCindy at Affaircare

So your spouse had an affair and you (the Loyal Spouse) have chosen to try to reconcile.

What are your “deal breakers”?

What are the things you have required in order to consider reconciliation?

Save Our Marriage Saturday — April 13th

April 13, 2013Affaircare, Save Our Marriage SaturdaysChristian, Marriage, Relationships, Save Our Marriage SaturdayCindy at Affaircare

Today is Save Our Marriage Saturday!

1. Please link to your actual “Save Our Marriage Saturday” post, not just the address to your blog or site home page.

2. Please leave me a comment–I would love to visit your site, return the favor, and follow you!

3. Please share the love with your fellow bloggers–Read and leave a comment on at least the two blogs above yours.

5. Link back to this community, either by using the button below or a text link. You can find the button code here for you to insert in your post:

HTML CODE:

Please click on the froggy to see the blog hop!

Save Our Marriage Saturday – April 6th (affaircare.com)

Crucial Steps to Building Trust After an Affair

April 13, 2013Affair, Cheating, infidelity, Love Extinguishers, Love Kindlers, marriageEmotional affair, Infidelity, Marriage, rebuilding, reconciliation, trustCindy at Affaircare

1. NO contact with the Affair Partner. If you want to prove to your spouse that you are worthy of trust, then that means you need to discipline yourself to never, ever contact your affair partner EVER…not even hearing “how they’re doing.” Keep your focus on your spouse.

2. End Love Extinguishers. To build your spouse’s belief in your reliability, rather than focusing on what your spouse did…you agree to look at yourself and the ways that you contributed to the destruction of your marriage. Also you agree to do the work necessary to change yourself and stop doing the harmful actions.

3. Transparency. Increasing confidence in your honesty requires transparency which is being “see through”…you let your spouse see through to your real thoughts and feelings. In other words, you let them see the real you, warts and all, and stop trying to hide. You let them see what you do, who you’re with, where you are–and you tell them the truth rather than covering up “to keep them from being hurt.”

4. Mutual United Understanding. You can build belief in your trustworthiness by looking at each one of these three words and approaching your spouse with these attitudes. “Mutual” means that there are TWO of you in this relationship, not just you and not just your spouse; you need to RELATE. “United” means that the two of you are as one team–joined together for a common purpose. “Understanding” means both comprehending each other and sympathetic awareness of each others’ feelings.

5. Go to your spouse directly–spend time together. This is fairly obvious, actually. To rebuild belief in your credibility, you need to invest time with your spouse…do things together. If you do not have common interests or hobbies, start something new! But invest your time, energy and money building love with your spouse.

6. Re-start Love Kindlers. After an affair, one way to begin rebuilding trust with your spouse is to once again begin the “the little things” that show a person you love them. Love is an ACTION–not a feeling–so do act in a way that is loving and caring for your spouse.

7. Find one accountability mentor, make amends. The final step you can take to initiate hope and convince your spouse you are worthy of their trust is to pursue it…want it! Show your ability to deliver on your promises by finding someone who will hold you accountable. Admit what you did; name it for what it was; and where possible, repair the damage your choices have made.

If you want to know more, you can read and sign up for the Affaircare Newsletter! For more in-depth information you can read our article: “Coming Out of an Affair” or read our series “How to Rebuild After an Affair”

First Step to Get Over Partner’s Affair (huffingtonpost.com)
Infidelity: What to do after an affair (cnn.com)
Laurie Israel: Infidelity: An Opportunity For Marital Truthfulness (huffingtonpost.com)
What NOT to do if your spouse is cheating (affaircare.com)
Learning to Trust Again… (justsaynototoxicrelationships.wordpress.com)

Question of the Week: April 7th – 13th

April 7, 2013Affair, Cheating, infidelity, Our Question to YouAdvice, Marriage, SexualityCindy at Affaircare

Your spouse keeps saying they are “just friends” but where do YOU draw the line?

Is is right for your spouse to have opposite sex friends? To go to lunch with their opposite sex friends? To text 1000 or more texts with their opposite sex friends? To talk on the phone with their opposite sex friends? To have hobbies and interests with their opposite sex friends? To spend more time with their opposite sex friends than they do with you? To discuss your marriage with their opposite sex friends? To discuss sexual topics with their opposite sex friends? To flirt with their opposite sex friends? To be suggestive with their opposite sex friends?

What about touching? Is it right for your spouse to shake hands with an opposite sex friend? To touch their arm? To do a short, friendly hug? To do a “touch cheeks” kiss in the air? To do a peck kiss? To do a longer, lingering hug? To kiss on the lips? To touch each other through clothing? To turn each other on?

Where do YOU draw the line?