These steps take you the entire way through the process, but there are some things you can do the day after you find out your spouse has been unfaithful:
1) Go to your bank tomorrow morning and separate your finances. Open your own savings account that your disloyal spouse can not get into, your own checking or savings account, and make sure your house and car payment are transferred to your new account. Do not tell your disloyal you are doing this–just do it.
2) Rent a storage space, pay for it for three months, and put all your disloyal spouse’s possessions into it. You may not legally be able to “kick them out” if their name is on the title or mortgage, but there’s no reason your disloyal spouse can’t at least go to a friend’s or sleep on someone else’s couch. Removing their “things” may be yet another very realistic wake up call of what they stand to lose: their home, their lifestyle and half the time with their kids!
3) Get a doctor appointment to be tested for STDs. It may also be a good time to let your doctor know what’s happening and discuss anti-depressant medication. Now we personally recommend recognizing that it is natural to be depressed when something as depressing as infidelity is occurring in your life–that’s situational depression–so we aren’t advocating medicating so you don’t feel the pain. There also are alternatives such as herbs that are natural and can help (such as St. John’s Wort, KavaKava and Valerian or Melatonin for sleep). However, it is wise to keep your personal physician informed so they can make a decision if needed.
4) Contact all your bills and change them to your new bank account, and anything for which you are paying for disloyal spouse…you drop/close that account. You paying their cell phone bill? Time for them to take care of their own finances if they wants OP! DO NOT pay for their infidelity! Hey it’s a free country–if your disloyal wants to cheat they are free to do so, but the PRICE of that choice is that they have to pay their own way!