Love is Deliberate


4 thoughts on “Love is Deliberate

  1. Love is also choosing to stay faithful and not cheat on your spouse in the midst of tough and difficult times. Maybe I misunderstand the perspective of the article, but if it is insinuating that one should not “jump ship” when they see the darkness (affair) of their spouse, then I would definitely disagree. The cheating spouse has already “jumped ship” through their act of cheating. I apologize if I’m reading into the article or taking it out of it’s intended context.

    1. Justin, I agree with you that when someone commits adultery, they are the one who has “jumped ship” and broken the marriage vows. Furthermore, sexual immorality is the one exception Jesus gave for allowing divorce–it is PERMITTED, but not required. But this little image was not referring to an affair; it is referring to how people say they have “fallen out of love” because they’ve seen their spouse’s flaws. We all have them–times in our life where we don’t act our best, like when we are under stress, out of money, very tired, or pushed beyond our limits. Now-a-days, people begin to see their spouse’s flaws and some of the feelings wane, so they just “jump ship” and look for another person. This image is about how True Love sees the flaws and is a Deliberate Choice to treat someone in a loving way because you promised to do so.

  2. I loved that quote, I wonder if it is not just the ‘choir’ who hears it ….as in ‘ preaching to…”

    Most people who love Jesus Christ in truth surrender to that new ‘identity’ and make the effort to keep at it with Him …as that quote speaks of …How was it put in Hebrews?

    Heb 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

    I knew it was going to take diligence, sacrifice, selflessness and open communication in our marriage for it to “become ‘ every single day . I thought that was our understanding. I believed the conversations and serious discussions we had about all matters of marriage before marriage.

    How was it my husband ‘s attitude changed so radically after our vows that VERY DAY?

    It seems that once he married me he ‘panicked ” INSIDE but would not open up and have a conversation about anything deep in his heart after the walk down the isle!

    Now thirty three years and some….trying to ‘read his mind’ and to please him has led to heartbreaking discovery that he has ‘always wanted a separate life’!

    Over our marriage and through all the moving and the home schooling …He has gone on to have a glorious career and several adulterous relationships and then one that lasted for 14 years and resulted in two children that they PLANNED .

    He is now living …”.house-sitting ” …I am praying and waiting and studying and doing all I can to wait upon the Lord …while our daughters await what the Lord will bring about for their own lives.

    I hurt every time he decides to call my daughters to do his ‘dutiful’ time with them …when HE can schedule them in between his time spent with the other children where he demonstrates a much more ardent effort to ‘be there’ for them than our family enjoyed . His work , his working out , and his private activities are all that really get his first concern .

    I read that quote and felt at once a yearning and a grief for after a lifetime of thinking my husband was so sacrificially focused upon making sure our family had what he had wanted to give us ..despite my often reminding him that he was missing out as well as our family was missing him being actively part of our lives ….I see that he really did not have any problem doing whatever he wanted while deceiving us and making us feel guilty for wanting to have such a hard working tired man take time for us !

    How devastating . His ‘legacy’ is just this …and even with seeing the damage done he has no apparent plans to change his self centered ways .

    I know that Jesus Christ has been faithful …and will always be so ..and I walk every day to abide in Him but as many here know the pain that comes from having sown so much life into the serving of their spouse …it really is hard to view the ‘golden years’ alone …while your spouse yet lives …”divorce” is not in my vocabulary.

    This age of Humanistic relativism has just about destroyed the sanity of generations upon generations now.

    Come Lord Jesus , Come Quickly!

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