Steps to End an Affair: Carrot and Stick [Podcast]

You’ve found evidence that proves there is an affair. You’ve confronted your spouse, disclosed it to a trusted mentor, and exposed the affair… NOW what should you do?

Today we are continuing the new portion of our Basic Concepts: Steps to End an Affair. There are specific steps you can take if you have reason to believe your spouse may be unfaithful. There is no guarantee your marriage will recover, but these steps will give you the best opportunity to recover after the affair ends.


In today’s episode we discuss the Carrot and Stick Phase. Using Matt. 7:1-5 and II Tim 3:16 as our biblical foundations, we suggest that the loyal spouse establish a period of time during which they dangle ‘The Carrot’ of looking at the log in their own eye and working on themselves. Stop doing Love Extinguishers and start doing Love Kindlers to demonstrate you are the MORAL alternative to the affair partner. At the same time, during this established period of time, the loyal spouse would also apply ‘The Stick’ of stepping out of the way and allowing the disloyal spouse to experience the NATURAL consequences of their choice to continue committing adultery. It’s not our job to punish, but it is our job to step out of God’s way and stop covering up and enabling the affair.

Our new program, “90 Days to Save Your Marriage and Save You” will teach you and how your spouse how to recover after infidelity. To introduce our new program, I’m reviewing our Basic Concepts all month!


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