Recently, David and I have discovered a great little site: Twoofus.org.
Since one of our Reconciliation Tools is The Five Love Languages (as seen on our Quizzes page), we found this little article about the love language “Acts of Service” and thought it was so good, that we’d just repost the whole thing! The original of this article can be found here: http://www.twoofus.org/educational-content/articles/top-10-acts-of-service-to-make-your-partner-feel-loved-/index.aspx (Warning: it loads REALLY slowly)
In Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, The Five Love Languages, he explains that people express and receive love in different ways. Dr. Chapman identifies these the five languages of love as: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
For people who have “acts of service” as their primary love language, helpful acts are seen as very powerful expressions of love and devotion. Actions like cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, vacuuming, taking out the garbage, mowing the grass, etc. are all acts of service. If done with a positive spirit and without expecting something in return, they are indeed expressions of love.
Within every language, there are many dialects. If you have a significant other with acts of service as his/her primary love language, find out the specific things he/she would like by asking. If you are the person with that specific love language, let your spouse know which actions mean the most to you.
We asked people what acts(s) of service they think are most valued by a spouse are here are some of the responses:
- During the cold months, put a towel in the dryer while your spouse is showering so it’s all fluffy and warm when he/she gets out.
- Clean the kitchen or bathroom
- Men: Be a gentleman and walk on the “dangerous” side of the road so she feels protected.
- Fix things that the other can’t fix.
- Buy or make him/her lunch and bring it to him/her at work, even if (especially if) it’s out of your way.
- Cook a special meal that you know he/she likes.
- Fill up your gas tank without being asked.
- Drop your spouse at the door when it is raining.
- Men: Open car doors for your wife.
- Go to the grocery store and buy items you know he/she loves—without being asked