“…that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.” ~2 Corinthians 5:19-20 NIV
Did you notice it? I did–these two verses repeat that word ‘reconciliation’ or ‘reconciled’ so it must be important!
The Greek word here is katallassōn, katallagēs, and katallagēte–you can tell all from the same root word, and at its core it means “to change down to an exact point.” That doesn’t sound much like our English definition of reconciliation, does it? Yet this word has a connotation of DECISIVE change, from enmity to friendship, down to even the smallest detail…going from a position of angry to receiving favor. In 2 Cor. 5:20 Paul uses the same word when he describes a woman returning to harmony with her husband.
So…Paul implores us to be the elder diplomats who proclaim the message: return to harmony with God. Now my question is how am I being an elder and living that message? Do my actions and words testify to the message of reconciliation to God?
When there has been an affair, people often throw around that word ‘reconciliation.’ Some will immediately tell you to leave the Disloyal on the spot; others may encourage you to reconcile no matter what abuse has occurred. But looking at this verse, it seems clear to me that whether the marriage is reconciled or not, the first and main reconciliation with which we need to be concerned is a DECISIVE change…from discord with God to harmony. He chooses us, and He reconciles us–we can’t assist in any way–but His love is such that He wants us to be made right with Him.
Thus, focus there first. If your marriage is in disarray due to an affair, I implore you as a messenger to return to harmony with God. Return to living the life He wants you to lead. Return to reading the Bible and prayer, and return to living in a Christ-like way as a response to His love for you.
AFFAIRCARE 
I completely agree! We can not “reconcile” our marriage until we make that all important change in our relationship with God!
Good word!
In today’s culture concerned with identity it’s a biblical truth that we need to acknowledge ….changes in identity from single to married really really for strength upon the change of identity from “dead in tresspasses and sin” to the new creature in the Body of Christ as ,Paul’s epistle as revealed from Jesus Christ inform us
Walking in the newness of life depends ultimately upon learning the rightly divided instructions to us during this dispensation of the mystery of Christ found in Paul’s epistle which makes all the difference in our carrying out 2 Tim 2:15!
Great post !
Thank you for that. It’s been 2 years since I decided to stay. I want to be the kind of wife God wants me to be. The hardest part is never having that total trust that was there before. There have been good days and horrid days. What I found was an inner strength in myself and a total love and unshakeable faith in God.
Thank you for that. I want to be the kind of wife God wants me to be. It’s been two years. I made a decision not to leave. The hardest part is never quite having that total trust that was there before. There have been good days and bad days. But what I found was total trust in myself, strength and an unshakeable faith and love in God that will always carry me through.