FAQs

 Why should I do Telephone Coaching? Won’t I need marriage counseling in a counselor’s office to save my marriage?
There are several amazing benefits of telephone coaching over in-office therapy.  The foremost benefit is that you can coach with an EXPERT who is not in your area!  Some small towns and rural areas do not have coaches in the area that are specially trained in recovering after an affair.  Even in some of the “big cities” of our country, it is hard to find an expert trained specifically for saving marriages…and even more specifically, saving marriages after an affair!  Telephone coaching brings the expert TO YOU.

Another MAJOR benefit is that telephone coaching is discrete and easy-to-get-to!  Driving to an office appointment can mean hassles, frustration, inconvenience and rush-hour traffic.  Walking into a counselor’s office, you might run into a neighbor, friend, or church member!!  Telephone coaching, Can be done in the privacy of your own home.  It is discrete and easy.  You choose the time and date. You can be in your P.J.’s at home, in a dress or three piece suit at work, or you can call from your cell phone when you’re on the run. It’s entirely up to you.  In fact, we’ve discovered that we can help people by telephone that we could never have reached in person. They were either too embarrassed to come to an office, or not motivated enough to make the trip. But by telephone they get all the help they need with complete discretion and very little initial effort. And the results are extraordinary. 

What’s so special about an AffairCare Coach?

AffairCare coaches are PRO-MARRIAGE!!!  We get calls from people who have struggling with the affair on their own for months…or people who have been in “counseling” for years…and they’re making NO progress and are often worse off than they were when they started!  We hear horror stories about individual therapists–and sometimes even pastors and marriage counselors–who have pronounced a marriage “dead on arrival” after just one session!  We hear about friends and relatives who don’t want to see the Loyal Spouse (LS) hurting anymore who encourage the LS to just “move on” or “get a life.” You might feel as if you’re the only one in the world who believes your marriage is worth saving, but now, you’re not alone. We believe marriage is a life-long covenant that is sanctified in the eyes of God.  We also believe that most divorces in our country are unnecessary. We see people and relationships change all the time. We know yours can too.


How do AffairCare coaches make marriages happy and loving again?
You aren’t born knowing how to have great relationships; you have to learn how. We’re convinced that most divorces happen because people simply don’t have the skills to find their way out of trying and frustrating marital problems. AffairCare coaches are experienced coaching professionals who can teach you the tools you need to improve communication and break free from hurtful relationship ruts. You’ll become your own relationship expert!

Is coaching confidential?  Do coaches have ethics and guidelines?
Your call to an AffairCare coach is strictly confidential.  Just like counselors and therapists, coaches have ethical statements and guidelines, and those will be shared with you in your first session.  But rest assured that confidentiality is the cornerstone of a deep coaching relationship. 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “FAQs

    1. Hi Dan! Thanks for your question. Before we go any further, I would answer your question by clarifying that a marriage is not a relationship. A marriage is when two people make a lifelong, covenant commitment before God and family and friends. A marriage in the USA also has a legal component to it, but I personally limit that portion of the definition to some means of legally enforcing or recognizing the commitment. A relationship could be going out together, dating, dating exclusively, living together before marriage, engaged or any number of ways that people “get together” that does not meet the standard of a lifelong, covenant commitment with some sort of legal recognition.

      So with that clear, I think what you’re wondering is something like “Well if I’m in a relationship with someone (my significant other), is it okay to have a friendship with someone else (some other girl, for example)?” Here’s where my definition of marriage comes into play; because I believe until you are married…you are single. And if you’re single you are free to have a friendship with whoever you want! What happens is that if you’re just going out or dating, that expectation for loyalty is not as great–if you are dating exclusively the expectation of loyalty raises–if you are living together it raises even more. Thus, if you are exclusive, living with or engaged to someone, and you have indicated to that person that they are the only one you love, the one for you, etc. …then it is reasonable to think they would feel betrayed if you began to have a closer relationship with someone else.

      Now having said all that, here’s 5 quick little differences between a friendship and a relationship:
      1. Meeting the other person
      Friendship: Sure it’s cool if your spouse meets friend at work or in your class. You’re just doing an assigned project with them.
      Relationship: NO WAY! The person at work or in your class doesn’t even know you’re married. You’re sort of keeping this other person a secret.

      2. Communications with the other person
      Friendship: Not only is it okay if your spouse sees the friend’s emails or FB chats or texts, but you SHOW THEM to your spouse, forward it to your spouse, include your spouse. “Hey sweetie, look what they said LOL!” and you hand over your cellphone.
      Relationship: Your spouse can see you texting, chatting or emailing away, but you keep your phone passworded and your PC locked so they can not see what you and the other person have said. If your spouse happened to read it, you’d get defensive and/or accuse them of invading your privacy.

      3. Mention the other person’s name
      Friendship: You or your spouse say the friend’s name and there is no change of facial expression or tone of voice. It’s like discussing the rug–all facts and then on to the next topic.
      Relationship: You say the other person’s name and your whole face lights up…or your voice changes and gets that happy lilt to it.

      4. The other person needs you
      Friendship: Your friend may has some personal trouble and they talk to you about it. You give your friend advice and then your friend goes to seek help from someone with whom they have an emotional tie (like a parent or sibling or their own spouse). You point your friend to their own spouse.
      Relationship: The other person has some personal trouble and they talk to you about it, and they turn to a person with whom they have an emotional tie for help: you. The other person acts like you are the only one who is able to help her through it.

      5. Laughing and Touching
      Friendship: Oh friends laugh and kid around together, but if they do touch, the touching in minimal and more like a slap on the shoulder or ruffling hair.
      Relationship: You and the other person have personal inside jokes and you two laugh with each other and at times, touch each other fairly softly…or accidentally arrange to brush up against one another. In order to have private jokes, it’s clear you’ve spent a lot of together to establish that close of a connection.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s